The Disappeared (2008)

Film review: The Disappeared (2008), directed by Johnny Kevorkian

Admittedly, if I find films with certain actors whose films I have reviewed before, I tend to watch them in order to get the actor tag count up, so when I discovered British indie film The Disappeared and saw "Tom Felton" in the cast list, I thought "+1!" rather than "OMG Draco Malfoy I have to see this!!!" or anything like that.

The film begins with teenager Matthew Ryan (Harry Treadaway) being released from hospital. His younger brother Tom (Lewis Lemperuer Palmer) went missing once when their father (Greg Wise, whom you might recall from Sense and Sensibility '95) was at a work do while Matthew had a birthday party in the apartment. Tom went to go down to the playground, and when Matthew much later came to pick him up, his brother was gone.

When looking at a tape of a press conference where the tearful father appeals to the public for information, Matthew hears Tom's voice calling out to him. When reluctantly mentioning this to best friend Simon (Tom Felton), Simon suggests electronic voice phenomenon (see also: White Noise), and maybe Matthew should try leaving a tape recorder running and see if it picks up anything, but the boys fall out, and when Simon's sister Sophie (Georgia Groome) also goes missing, it doesn't get better.

Well, at least Matthew has the next door neighbour's girl Amy (Ros Leeming) to keep him sane, as well as Adrian Ballan (Alex Jennings), a church worker. Because hearing people's voices is never seen as a good thing ...

Beetlejuice (1988)

Film review: Beetlejuice (1988), directed by Tim Burton

Adam (Alec Baldwin) and Barbara (Geena Davis) Maitland live in a big, old house on a hill near a small town in the middle of nowhere. Just the sort of place where people from the Big City would like to come and buy property for loads of money, and real estate agent Jane (Annie McEnroe) is desperate for the Maitlands to sell. Why do they need such a big house when it's just the two of them?

Meanwhile, the couple have two weeks off and they're set to do lots of work on the house in this time. Unfortunately, their car crashes into the river and they both drown ... and return to the house as if nothing happened. Soon enough, they realise that they're dead and have a manual welcoming them to the afterlife. They're stuck inside the house as ghosts.

The house is sold to a family from New York City, the Deetzes. Charles (Jeffrey Jones) likes the house, but his wife Delia (Catherine O'Hara), a sculptor, is keen on remodelling it completely together with interior designer Otho (Glenn Shadix). This is seen as a most unwelcome intrusion by the Maitlands, who try to scare them away, but to no avail. The only one who can actually see them is Charles's goth daughter Lydia (Winona Ryder), who rather likes her spectral friends.

Even the Maitlands' afterlife case worker (Sylvia Sidney) isn't of much help, except to say that whatever they do, they should not, repeat: not, summon Beetlejuice (actually "Betelgeuse" in writing), a "bio-exterminator". However, desperate times call for desperate measures ... and when you call for Beetlejuice (Michael Keaton), you're calling for trouble ...

Choke (2008)

Film review: Choke (2008), directed by Clark Gregg

This film was billed as a "black comedy", to which I went "oooh" and decided to watch. Choke is based on a book by Chuck Palahniuk, who also wrote Fight Club.

Victor Mancini (Sam Rockwell) is a sex addict, attending meetings like Sexoholics Anonymous - or rather, failing to show up to said meetings because he's too busy nailing one of the other would-be attendants. Together with best friend Denny (Brad William Henke), another sexoholic, he works at a colonial tourist attraction as a re-enactor in order to support his mother (Anjelica Huston) staying in a mental hospital. She has Alzheimers and can't even recognise her own son anymore.

Victor's other, more profitable, way of getting an income, is to go to restaurants and pretend to choke, getting people to help him, and in a weird way guilt-trip them into parting with lots of money. Saving another person's life can be oddly ... rewarding.

Victor doesn't know who his father is, so when pretty Paige (Kelly Macdonald), a doctor at the hospital, says she knows of a revolutionary new method of helping his mother, he's all for it. Maybe that way his mother will tell him who his father is (as getting Denny pretending to be him didn't work). Thing is, the method is rather odd, and for once in his life, Victor can't actually get it up, as it were. And then things get really complicated.

Elizabethtown (2005)

Film review: Elizabethtown (2005), directed by Cameron Crowe

Life kind of sucks for Drew Baylor (Orlando Bloom). He's just made the shoe manufacturer he works for lose a heck of a lot of money (not entirely sure why the shoes had to be recalled, though), his girlfriend (Jessica Biel) doesn't seem to want to be his girlfriend any more, and the boss (Alec Baldwin) insists he does an interview with a business magazine and take the full blame for the disaster. It will be in the next issue, which will be out at the end of the week, and then everyone will know what a failure he is.

Basically, life can't possibly get any worse for the poor man. Except that very same night, his sister (Judy Greer) phones him to say their dad Mitch (Tim Devitt) has suddenly passed away, and their mother (Susan Sarandon) is beside herself.

It's decided that Drew is to travel to Mitch's side of the family in Kentucky, where he died, to arrange a memorial service and also to bring him back to the family in Oregon. Well, not like he has anything else to do, right?

On the very quiet night flight, Drew doesn't get much sleep, as a chirpy flight attendant (Kirsten Dunst) insists on talking to him. Turns out her name is Claire and she's from Kentucky. She gives him driving instructions, because Elizabethtown can be difficult to find, if you don't take the right turn-off and so on. She ends up giving Drew her contact details.

The Design of Everyday Things by Donald A Norman (1988)

Book review: The Design of Everyday Things by Donald A Norman (Basic Books, 2002 [1988]), originally released as The Psychology of Everyday Things

In this entertaining and insightful analysis, cognitive scientist Donald A Norman hails excellence of design as the most important key to regaining the competitive edge in influencing consumer behavior.

Expanded and updated, with a new introduction by the author, The Design of Everyday Things is a powerful primer on how - and why - some products satisfy customers while others only frustrate them.

This time I'm doing coursework, I'm reviewing the literature that goes with it, hah! Two birds with one stone!

Psychology is fascinating, and you don't normally realise that it can go hand in hand with design. For instance, if you look at something as simple as a door, you might not think too much about it, but how often do you encounter doors where your instinct is to push instead of pull, and find the door won't budge? That would be because the door and/or handle design is flawed, not that you're stupid ... which is inevitably how you end up feeling.

Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance (2011)

Film review: Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2011), directed by Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor

A few years ago, stunt motorcyclist Johnny Blaze (Nicolas Cage) sold his soul to Roarke (Ciarán Hinds), an incarnation of the devil. Because of this, at night, he turns into Ghost Rider - a burning skeleton of a demon bounty hunter, out to claim souls of bad people. This is not something he's particularly keen on, so he's hiding out somewhere in Eastern Europe.

In a monastery, a young boy called Danny (Fergus Riordan) is held in secret with his mum Nadya (Violante Placido). The boy is one of prophecy and it would be best for the world if he was there and just waited for a prophecised time to pass. The devil disagrees, and has sent Ray Carrigan (Johnny Whitworth) and friends to collect him.

Mum and son run, chased by Moreau (Idris Elba), a priest ... However, Moreau loses them and turns to Johnny Blaze to help find them and bring them to safety, which is of course not as simple as it would first seem, and even when they've gotten to the safe place, is it all that safe? And so on. Also, Blaze is in it for the chance to get his soul back.

With notable appearances by Anthony Head as some kind of monk, Christopher Lambert as a more hardcore monk with facial tattoos and Vincent Regan as a weapons seller.

Swedish Ways: Fettisdagen

Shrove Tuesday, you say? Fat Tuesday (fettisdagen) we say! Instead of pancakes, we eat something called a semla. The semla is a cardamom spiced bun (try finding a sweet bun in Sweden that isn't, I dare you) hollowed out and filled with an almond paste, topped with whipped cream, the lid left from the hollowing out and finished with a dusting of icing sugar. The buns I baked yesterday turned out rather small ... so I'm going to pretend it's deliberate and call them "calorie controlled".

Today is the "correct day" of eating them, but nowadays, bakeries start making them shortly after Christmas. A little wrong, I think.

The eating of the humble semla dates back centuries - in fact, we once had a king who ate himself to death on them. It even made it on to Horrible Histories! It's one of the deleted Stupid Deaths on the series two DVD, check it out. :D Their buns even looked fairly authentic.

The attached picture are the ones I made today to bring with me to our roleplaying group for people to try. [Will edit this post when I'm on a computer next.]

Also, we had pancakes for breakfast. Lent is not observed in this household, and not in Sweden in general. Unless you've caught religion.

P.S. I skipped Valentine's Day. Partly because I forgot, partly because ... well, "same as you guys, really".

For My Daughter's Honor / Indecent Seduction (1996)

Film review: For My Daughter's Honor or Indecent Seduction (1996), directed by Alan Metzger

One of my guilty pleasures is TV channel True Movies. Every made-for-TV "based on reality" you could ever hope for. This one caught my eye because it promised Alyson Hannigan and the oldest child from The Nanny. And Gary Cole, which I didn't realise until I started watching. Apparently it also had a young Sean Murray (McGee in NCIS) as "Ralph", whoever that was. Oh, if only I had known that beforehand, I would've kept an eye out!

Somewhere in Oklahoma, Amy Dustin (Nicholle Tom) is starting high school along with her two best friends Kelly (Alyson Hannigan) and Kimberly (Sara Rue). The school's Biology teacher is also the coach of the football team - Pete Nash (Gary Cole), who has a reputation to be flirty with the pretty girls. Happens every year with someone in the freshmen, who become the teacher's pet.

Amy happens to be pretty. Guess who gets blatantly groomed by the dashingly handsome football coach? And because her parents (Mac Davis and Mary Kay Place) are too busy fighting with one another to give her the time of day, guess who ends up falling for the dashingly handsome man who is so kind to her and says she's special and all that?

The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister (2010)

Film review: The Secret Diaries of Miss Anne Lister (2010), directed by James Kent

When I read what this film was about, I was intrigued. A businesswoman in the first half of the 1800s, who is also gay. You rarely hear about businesswomen in those days, regardless of their sexuality. Unfortunately, the showing I caught on TV had a bloke gesticulating in the corner (it was the sign language time of night), which was very distracting.

Anne Lister (Maxine Peake) lives with her aunt (Gemma Jones) and uncle (Alan David) somewhere in Yorkshire. She has an affair with Mariana (Anna Madeley), and they're passionately in love ... which comes to an abrupt end when Mariana agrees to marry the old Charles Lawton (Michael Culkin). Anne is heartbroken by this betrayal, and starts grooming Miss Browne (Tina O'Brien) in a rather creepy fashion.

Meanwhile, Anne's best friend "Tib" (Susan Lynch) has the hots for her too, but Anne is still focused on Mariana. When aunt and uncle Lister decide it's time for Anne to consider marrying, they put her in touch with their next door neighbour, Mr. Rawson (Dean Lennox Kelly), whom Anne is completely unimpressed by. She's still in love with Mariana, and is waiting for her old husband to die so that they can be together. However, he seems in better health than Mariana gives the impression of. The film ends some time after Anne goes into a business venture with Ann Walker (Christine Bottomley).

And I guess I just gave a synopsis or plot summary rather than basic premise. Easy to do with things that are based on historical people, I suppose.

Avada Kedavra - unforgivable yet satisfying!

This week's weekend video is brought to you by Albino Blacksheep and a chorus of Lord Voldemort, Draco Malfoy and Wormtail, putting on a spectacular Lion King parody for your amusement. :D

The Bodyguard (1992)

Film review: The Bodyguard (1992), directed by Mick Jackson

After the initial shock and surprise to hear Whitney Houston was found dead, the next step was to see if any of the TV channels had decided to show The Bodyguard in response. Maybe it was already going to be shown anyway, but one of the ITV channels had it on. Now I just feel a bit awkward writing this review ... you'll see why in a bit.

Frank Farmer (Kevin Costner) is a bodyguard for hire who is very good at what he does and takes his job very seriously. In fact, he doesn't even want to tie himself down to becoming a permanent employee of a client because he doesn't want any potential attachment cloud his judgement.

He's contacted by Devaney (Bill Cobbs), who would like to pay him good money to protect singer and actress Rachel Marron (Whitney Houston) and her son Fletcher (DeVaughn Nixon), because there have been some threatening letters sent, and some creepy dude managed to get into her mansion, where she lives with her sister Nicki (Michele Lamar Richards).

The Gathering Storm by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson (2009)

Book review: The Wheel of Time #12: The Gathering Storm by Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson (Orbit, 2009)

Tarmon Gai'don, the Last Battle, looms. And mankind is not ready. Rand al'Thor struggles to unite a fractured network of kingdoms and alliances in preparation for the Last Battle, as his allies watch in terror the shadow that seems to be growing within the heart of the Dragon Reborn himself.

Egwene al'Vere is a captive of the White Tower and subject to the whims of their tyrannical leader. She works to hold together the disparate factions of Aes Sedai, as the days tick toward the Seanchan attack she knows is imminent. Her fight will prove the mettle of the Aes Sedai, and her conflict will decide the future of the White Tower - and possibly the world itself.

The Wheel of Time turns, and Ages come and pass. What was, what will be, and what is, may yet fall under the Shadow . . .

When Robert Jordan passed away in September 2007, I, like a lot of Wheel of Time fans, was very sad for his family and friends, but also left feeling disappointed. One of my favourite series of books, so close to the end, and now we'd never find out the ending! Some time later, Brandon Sanderson, author of the Mistborn trilogy, was approached by Jordan's wife Harriet and asked if he wanted to finish the fantasy epic, based on notes and recordings made by Jordan before his death. Sanderson, a WoT fan himself, agreed - this is the result.

I bought it as soon as it came out, but the Squeeze read it first, and for a long time it was left untouched. Then I started reading, maybe the first four chapters, and then left it for the better part of a year before I decided it was time to get crackin' over Christmas and New Year's. And then I couldn't put the bloody thing down!

No, really.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (2008)

Film review: Hellboy II: The Golden Army (2008), directed by Guillermo del Toro

In the 1950s, Professor Broom (John Hurt) reads young Hellboy a story about the Elven King (Roy Dotrice) and how the Faerie Realm fought the humans in days long gone. The King's son wanted a Golden Army to be created, to win over the humans, and the King agreed.

However, the Golden Army was so devastating that a truce was called. The humans would dwell in cities and the Faerie folk in the woods. The crown that controlled the army was split into three parts: two for the Elves, one for the humans. The Prince went into exile, swearing he'd be back when his people need him the most.

Modern day America, and the piece of the crown is up for auction, but Prince Nuada (Luke Goss) interrupts the auction and takes what is rightfully his. Because of the supernatural creatures he's left to wreak havoc, Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and his team are called in to deal with it. However, Hellboy is tired of the boss (Jeffrey Tambor) always telling him what to do, and decides to make a public appearance that really can't be explained away.

To control him, a highly skilled operative, Johann Krauss (voiced by Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane) is called in. Not that the son of the Devil and the ectoplasmic entity get along very well ... which is also what you could say about Hellboy and Liz (Selma Blair), who are now a couple. It's not easy being in a relationship ...

Time Bandits (1981)

Film review: Time Bandits (1981), directed by Terry Gilliam

Kevin (Craig Warnock) is a boy living with his parents somewhere in suburban Britain. One evening, a knight bursts in through his wardrobe ... and then mysteriously disappear, as if it never happened. Next time, Kevin is ready ... only to find a group of dwarves (David Rappaport, Kenny Baker, Malcolm Dixon, Mike Edmonds, Jack Purvis, Tiny Ross) bursting in on him instead. They claim to be robbers and have stolen a map of time holes from the Supreme Being.

The Supreme Being is not very happy about this, and chases them through a time hole. Kevin has ended up coming with them, and finds himself stealing from the rich: Napoleon (Ian Holm), and giving to the poor: Robin Hood (John Cleese). All the while, trying to outrun the Supreme Being.

At one point, they get separated, with Kevin ending up at the court of King Agamemnon (Sean Connery), where he wants to stay. The robbers have another idea, though. Meanwhile, an Evil Genius (David Warner) wants to break free from his dark fortress and take over the world, and that map would certainly be helpful ...

The Hitcher (2007)

Film review: The Hitcher (2007), directed by Dave Meyers

This film in a sentence: College kids on road trip pick up psychotic hitchhiker who tries to kill them. Eyecandy (and yucky gore) awaits!

Jim (Zachary Knighton) picks up Grace (Sophia Bush) to go visit her parents in New Mexico. It's a very long drive, but everything seems to be going well. Then there's a dark and stormy night and they almost hit a guy standing in the middle of the road by his car. Instead of getting out to talk with him, they get scared and drive off.

At the next petrol station, where they've conveniently stopped, the man in the middle of the road turns out to be Sean Bean, who calls himself John Ryder, and asks for a lift to the nearest motel. Oh if only Jim hadn't agreed to it ... because in the car, Ryder turns out to be a creepy killer who wants to, well, kill them. They manage to kick him out of the car and drive off in the night.

And then a dangerous game of cat and mouse begins, because Ryder is not satisfied with Grace and Jim still being alive, so he chases after them, leaving a trail of dead bodies behind him, which eventually leads to Lieutenant Esteridge (Neal McDonough) with the state police to join in. And of course, the police suspect the two college kids for the murders.

Time for tea?

Epic tea time with Alan Rickman. (Thanks Leffe! :D)

Prince Nuada film? Aww, HELL YEAH!!

Came across a site where you can watch a trailer for a film the Hellboy fandom thinks should be made. I'm not exactly in the Hellboy fandom, but the best thing about Hellboy II: The Golden Army was Prince Nuada (Luke Goss). I agree with the site's creators slash makers of the impressive trailer that there is a lot more that can be said about that character. Like his (and his twin sister's) entire backstory, squeee! That would be MADE. OF. AWESOME! :D

So go check out the trailer and sign the petition and cross fingers that this film will be made. Director Guillermo del Toro is aware of the petition, and sounds like he'd want to make it, if the studio funds it. According to the site, Luke Goss is also positive to play the guy again. (Fans, feel free to squee as appropriate.)

Tropic Thunder (2008)

Film review: Tropic Thunder (2008), directed by Ben Stiller

We didn't know a lot about this film when it first came out, but for some reason, we ended up seeing it at the cinema ... and bought it on Blu-Ray pretty much as soon as it came out. "Yeah, so?" you might say, but we generally just buy DVDs, and only when they've come down in price, so we're talking special treatment here. Basically because we nearly wet ourselves laughing in the cinema ...

One of the best things about Tropic Thunder is the very beginning. Starting with an ad for a soft drink and an energy bar, we're introduced to hip hop star Alpa Chino (Brandon T Jackson). Then we get trailers for three very different films: The Fatties: Fart 2 introduces Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black), a chubby comedian acting in low-brow comedies based on fart gags, essentially. Then there's action hero Tugg Speedman (Ben Stiller) with his dwindling Scorcher franchise - the 7th film even comes with the tagline "this time it's different". Third and final trailer, Satan's Alley, features the critically acclaimed method actor Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr) in a period drama about two monks with a Big Secret.

We then cut to a film set, where a Vietnam movie is being filmed in all its gory detail, starring aforementioned characters. It's not going well, and when special effects guy Cody (Danny McBride) blows up half the jungle, things go from bad to worse. Director Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan) is told to shape up or ship out by studio boss Les Grossman (Tom Cruise in a fat suit, which is funnier than it sounds) and his assistant (Bill Hader).

Zombies Ate My Muslim by Ted Mahsun (2011)

Short story review: Zombies Ate My Muslim by Ted Mahsun (Amazon Kindle, 2011)

All he wants is to have a simple life.

And that simple life he wants to spend with his celebrity girlfriend, Barbra Streisand. But unbeknownst to him, his darling Barbra has become a Muslim... which isn't a bad thing. Except for the rampaging zombie horde outside his front door who only want to eat Muslims.

Between the Muslim-hungry zombies and the Google Robots that want to steal his Brussels Sprouts, can he save the woman he loves before she gets eaten? Will things ever be simple for him?

WARNING! Parental Advisory: This short story contains content not suitable for minors.

Ah yes, it does say "short story". Fancy that. It's only 128 locations, for those of a Kindle persuasion, which mean that after having read a delightfully quirky description, thinking "what the ...?! LOL!" at the title, read a raving review saying it was HILARIOUS, I was thinking "this I have got to read!" Paid £0.77 ($0.99 I think) for it, downloaded it, opened, and went "wait, I thought this was a novel ... it's only 128 locations! *sadface*"

So yeah. If it had been every bit as fantastically awesome as the review I read made it sound, I probably would've said "okay it's short, but y'know, still worth it". HEY YOU CAN NEVER GUESS WHAT!!

Rumor Has It... (2005)

Film review: Rumor Has It... (2005), directed by Rob Reiner

In the early 1960s, a book called The Graduate was published. Rumour around Pasadena said it was based on a true story, about a scandal in a local family, but no one knew which one. Then there was the film, and so the story has been forever immortalised.

In the mid-Noughties, Sarah Huttinger (Jennifer Aniston) and her fiancé Jeff (Mark Ruffalo) are on a plane back home to Pasadena. Her sister Annie (Mena Suvari) is getting married. Under the pretense that she doesn't want to steal her sister's thunder, Sarah won't wear the engagement ring, or even announce the engagement to the family in private. Truth be told, she's just not sure Jeff is the one.

When she gets to her family, because of an off-handed comment by Jeff, Sarah starts to question her parentage. Didn't her mother run away to Mexico with some guy the week before she got married to her father (Richard Jenkins)? As it turns out, her eccentric grandmother (Shirley MacLaine) is actually the person inspiring the "Mrs. Robinson" of The Graduate. Does that mean Sarah's real father isn't the man she's always known as her dad?

Happy birthday, "greatest composer since ever"

Thought I'd wish the man a happy birthday, basically because I woke up this morning, saw it was 7 February and my first thought was not "in 2005, I started working in a callcentre - in 2007, I had a breakdown because I was still working there, and handed in my resignation two days later". My first thought was "7 February? That means something. OHH, I remember now! It's Dieter Bohlen's birthday!"

So here ya go, big guy. Happy 58th birthday, Dieter! Biggest composer "since ever" in Germany. :)

[Source: Weidungs Welt! and what a blast from the past that is. ♥]

The Cat and the Canary (1978)

Film review: The Cat and the Canary (1978), directed by Radley Metzger

Based on a play by John Willard, The Cat and the Canary is a film in the style of the boardgame Cluedo, but with a more sinister twist. In 1914, an old man called Cyrus West (Wilfrid Hyde White) records a film of his last will and testament. This film is to be locked up for twenty years and then his relatives are meant to gather to hear who has inherited the big house and the fortune.

The will is safely locked away by his legal representative Allison Crosby (Wendy Hiller) and the housekeper, Mrs. Pleasant (Beatrix Lehmann). Twenty years pass, and on a dark and story night in 1934, the remaining relatives start to turn up, summoned by an invitation.

After dinner, it's revealed who the heir or heiress is, and how that person will only inherit everything if he or she can stay the night and be of sound mind (there is insanity running in the family). If not, everything will pass to the person next in line ...

When Hendricks (Edward Fox), a doctor from a nearby lunatic asylym, shows up to tell them there's a madman broke loose, believing himself to be a cat and will attack and shred people to pieces, the mood isn't exactly lightened. Especially as people start to disappear and then turn up dead ...

Anna and the King (1999)

Film review: Anna and the King (1999), directed by Andy Tennant

In the 1860s, a British widow, Anna Leonowens (Jodie Foster), and her son Louis (Tom Felton), come to Siam (Thailand) to teach the King's many children. Anna is completely unaware of Siamese customs, and this causes a lot of friction with her new employer and his family. Louis and Prine Chulalongkorn (Keith Chin) quickly come to blows, and the Prince is not used to having people tell him what to do, let alone a woman. A foreign woman at that!

King Mongkut (Chow Yun-Fat) is not a horrible man to begin with, but he's very set in his ways. Lucky for Anna, not enough set to not want to listen or to bring around some change. For Anna, the new life is frustrating, and being a Christian woman in a land where it's perfectly okay for a king to have twenty-odd wives just to ensure the throne ... it's very uncomfortable with her. Certain customs is so alien that she feels compelled to protest them. She might be a small woman, but if you think she's just some meek little governess, you're in for an almighty surprise!

So is the King, who finds himself falling for her. As for Anna, she's still grieving for her dead husband, but she starts to live again, slowly realising that she, too, has feelings for the handsome king ...

Camelot - series 1 (2011)

TV series review: Camelot, series 1 (2011)

Sometimes you look at a show and you think "well thank Gods for that" when you hear they've been cancelled after, or during, the first series. Others, you think "aww, they never even got a proper go at it". Camelot ... I'm undecided about.

We're in ancient Britain, where there's a sorceror called Merlin (Joseph Fiennes, one of many familiar faces), a king called Uther (Sebastian Koch, which made me want to jump up and down like a monkey yelling "OOOH OOOH OOOH!!" but I settled for the more dignified, "Oh I wonder ... *IMDb app* oh, so it is") who has a beautiful wife called Igraine (Claire Forlani) ... and a beautiful but evil sorceress daughter called Morgan (Eva Green). Morgan is not a fan of Uther, and sneaks poison into his food. Daddy dies, but Morgan doesn't get the throne, because she also has a half-brother nicely tucked away at a farm. Arthur.

Arthur (Jamie Campbell Bower) lives with his adoptive brother Kay (Peter Mooney) and adoptive father Ector (Sean Pertwee, and yes, more familiar faces still to come!), believing them to be his real family, until he's whisked away by Merlin to go be King of the Britons. This was not on young Arthur's agenda for the day, shall we say.

The boy king - okay, well, he looks barely out of his teens - comes to the ruins of a place called Camelot and has to try to build up his kingdom, and fulfil a few prophecies along the way, aided by the scheming Merlin. And, also has to deal with his half-sister wanting to be the One Queen to Rule Them All.

Spy - series 1 (2011)

TV series review: Spy, series 1 (2011), directed by Ben Taylor, written by Simeon Goulden

One of the unexpected pleasures of 2011 was finding Sky1's new comedy series Spy. I caught it almost by accident one Friday afternoon as I had left the TV on (rare), on Sky1 (even rarer these days). Having seen a trailer or something for it before, I sat down to watch, and was hooked. Not just because "HEY IT'S MAT BAYNTON FROM HORRIBLE HISTORIES, YAY!" but because it was actually really funny.

Tim (Darren Boyd) is an ordinary, fairly boring, guy who enjoys Sudoku-puzzles and works in an electronics store with his probably only friend Chris (Mathew Baynton). He's bored and decides to quit to improve his life, because his ex-wife Judith (Dolly Wells) thinks he's a bit of a loser.

The local Jobcentre find him an interview for a job as a civil servant ... and because he's good with computers and puzzle-solving, he gets the job ... as an MI-5 agent. Surprise!! He gets to have a gun and everything! Tim the loser is suddenly pretty cool! ... If only he could actually talk about it. So at work, he's now in Her Majesty's Secret Service with a somewhat unhinged boss (Robert Lindsay), and a nice colleague, Caitlin (Rebekah Staton), whom he quite fancies.

At home, he has to deal with son Marcus (Jude Wright), who is far too smart for his own - and everyone else's - good, not to mention having to put up with cringeworthy counselling sessions with Marcus, Judith, and Judith's new partner Philip (Tom Goodman-Hill), who is headmaster of the school Marcus goes to, and is way too keen on man-hugs.

Thomas Anders - Strong (2010-2011)

Music album review: Thomas Anders Strong (Oriflame, 2010 + Amazon MP3, 2011)

1. Why Do You Cry? (Strong Version) (03:44)
2. Stay With Me (04:01)
3. Make You (03:46)
4. Stop! (03:14)
5. You Will Be Mine (04:13)
6. Suddenly (03:34)
7. Music, Dance (03:30)
8. My Angel (03:40)
9. I'll Be Strong (03:46)
10. Clear Sign (03:48)
11. One More Chance (03:45)
12. I Wanna (03:03)
13. Sorry, Baby (03:31)
14. All You Need (03:20) (I Miss You (03:56) instead & final track on physical album)
15. Dynamite (03:03)
16. Right Here, Right Now (Century of Love) (03:11)
17. Love You A Lifetime (02:59)
18. The Best of Me (03:22)

After the second split of Modern Talking (2003), Thomas Anders had released two albums: the one I really liked, This Time (2003), and the one I can't even remember the title of without looking it up, Songs Forever (2006), because I never cared much for it anyway, being full of covers. So when a new album was announced, I was thrilled and couldn't wait for it to come out. It just never seemed to have a release date for a year or two, and then it came out in 2010 ... in Russia, because it's an album written and produced over there. Herr Anders is very big in Russia, bless him. :)

When would Strong be released in Germany so I could actually buy it? And so the waiting game continued ... Until I finally had the idea to look for it on eBay in August 2011 ... and not long after, it was released as a digital download on Amazon. With bonus tracks not on the disc I had only just received. Gah!!