About

The Squeee banner with lots of pictures of things I enjoy

Categories

Currently Reading

From the Past

Films on the to-do list

  • Black Widow
  • Chimes at Midnight
  • Den blomstertid nu kommer (backed!)
  • Jojo Rabbit
  • The Killing of a Sacred Deer
  • Last Christmas
  • MIB: International
  • Remember Sunday
  • Shazam! 2
  • Spy Guys
  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
  • Wonder Woman: 1984

ENOUGH WITH THE RE-MAKES ALREADY!!!

Hollywood, PLEASE will you STOP FIXING WHAT ISN’T BROKEN?!

Latest in line with the ever-present threat of being re-made, Entertainment Weekly report that Kenny Ortega has signed on to direct a re-make of Dirty Dancing. In a statement, Ortega – who was the choreographer of the original film – said:

The opportunity to direct Dirty Dancing is like returning home for me…. Patrick Swayze set the bar for men dancing in the movies as Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire did before him. I believe everywhere you look there is evidence that the talent is out there and I can’t wait to begin the process of discovering the next breakout triple-threats.

Fine as they are, thankyouverymuch!

But seriously, re-making the brilliant chickflick that is Dirty Dancing for WHAT REASON?! (Money, obviously.) They sort of re-made it in 2004, with Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights, which has gone down in history as … a footnote, if that? I remember it having Romola Garai in it, but that’s about it. It lacked the unpretentious charm of the original.

But an actual re-make? Sure, you can make it look a lot snazzier with a higher budget, but it won’t be the same. There are some iconic 1980s couples in films that need to be left well alone. I made a list of some of them:

This cannot be improved,
even if using a really hot actor.
  • Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing
  • Julia Roberts and Richard Gere in Pretty Woman (okay, 1990, but still valid!)
  • Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas in Romancing the Stone
  • Linda Kozlowski and Paul Hogan in Crocodile Dundee
  • Melanie Griffith and Harrison Ford in Working Girl
  • Mia Sara and Matthew Broderick in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

They all also go under the category of “leave the movies themselves the hell alone, they’re fine as they are, and we LIKE the flaws!” Guess how many of them are set to be re-made? Dirty Dancing and Romancing the Stone. For starters. Haven’t heard anything about the others (touch wood) … yet. If you miss Top Gun off the list, well, I have no memories of it other than it has Tom Cruise and aircraft in it. But they’re still re-making it.

What next? Why not re-make Star Wars? No wait, George Lucas keeps doing that anyway. Also, they’re doing a completely incomprehensible reboot of the Spider Man franchise. The previous reboot hasn’t even had a chance to cool down yet! So the last Spider Man movie didn’t do very well. They could still have salvaged the character and made a fourth one better, instead of re-telling us all the story of how Peter Parker got his spider powers AGAIN. With great power comes great responsibility, Hollywood, remember that. Oh no, I forgot, you don’t give a shit. When they did another Hulk movie shortly after the previous one, at least it was because the first one sucked. Or so I’ve heard. It was on TV the other day, so recorded it just so I could see how bad it really is. It has Eric Bana in it, though, and that immediately makes up for a lot.

What’s wrong with having an original idea for once? Hey, here’s a novel (pun intended) idea: adapt books that haven’t been adapted to death already? I’d love The Eyre Affair or Good Omens, for instance. Not to mention someone should make The Wheel of Time into a TV-series worthy of Game of Thrones.

Gratuitous pic of Noomi Rapace

They also dislike Scandinavialand productions that are clearly awesome. Because they’re, like, all foreign and stuff? Hence why Swedish Män som hatar kvinnor (starring Noomi Rapace and Mikael Nyqvist) has been re-made as The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (starring Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig), as has Danish TV-series Forbrydelsen – which is now called The Killing. Oh yeah, and then there’s Kenneth Branagh’s take on Wallander, which is just bizarre – parading around Ystad using Swedish names and some Swedish actors but speaking English. Seeing as how upcoming The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is filmed in Sweden, judging by the trailer, it’ll be just as weird to watch. Haven’t seen the original film (have bought the books, though, because I keep hearing how awesome they are), but people say it’s good enough to leave as it is.

But yeah, subtitles apparently make foreign people come out in a rash. Or get scurvy. Or something that’s clearly equally unpleasant. What other excuse is there for not leaving the originals alone, aside from plain’ ol’ xenophobia?

Also: Syfy have announced they’re ditching [A Town Called] Eureka.

Traxy Thornfield

A Swedish introvert in Robin Hood Country (Nottingham, UK) where she lives with a husband and two cats. She's an eager participant in tabletop and play-by-post roleplaying, woodworking, photography and European travel. Will get a novel out one of these days, if she doesn't get too distracted on the way.

12 thoughts on “ENOUGH WITH THE RE-MAKES ALREADY!!!

  1. WORD!!! WOOOORD!!! OMG! WOORD!

    The Swedish movies with Noomi and Michael is awesome and so are the books! Love them! <3

  2. I agree!!!!! You’d think they’d have learned something simply based on the non-success that was Dirty Dancing Havana Nights 🙁 I really want some original content… I’m sick of remakes and comic book movies!

  3. I don’t even know what this movie is, but I laughed anyway. I saw the title in my Dashboard and was like, Ooh, Traxy’s going to rant!

    xD

  4. Leffe: Glad you liked the picture. 😉 I read an interview with Larsson’s widow, who said that she wasn’t happy about the name change of the first book in English – that it sounds too fairytale-y, about a girl and dragons. And that the point of the original title, “Men who hate women” is that it deals with such themes.

    TT: Thanks for your comment! I didn’t know you were lurking here. 🙂 (Err, provided you are the TT I know. If you’re not … hello!)

    Stephanie: Aww, thank you! 🙂 Haven’t had the time to watch the Bana Hulk yet, and I wasn’t planning on doing so originally, but we zapped past it, saw a few minutes (while I soliloquised, “woah, I didn’t know Eric Bana was in it! I’d watch it for that alone!”) and I said “we could record it and I can watch it and see if it’s as bad as everyone says!” Because I’m curious. Also, Eric Bana’s dark, Aussie eyes are beautiful.

    VABookworm87: When I saw Havana Nights on TV a few years ago, I was decidedly underwhelmed. Glad I never bought the DVD. Not really worth it. Comic book movies are starting to become ten to the dozen, I agree. They’re even rebooting Superman – to make a darker, grittier version. Umm. That doesn’t even fit! Batman, yes. Superman, no.

    Phylly3: Why is it so hard to come up with ideas for films, I wonder? If I keep having them as a film lover, why can’t the people who are in a position to actually do something about it?

    fitzg: I only know who he is because the original article said he was the choreographer for the original Dirty Dancing. Apparently he directed the Michael Jackson film-thingy.

    Lady Rose: What? I NEVER rant! … Do I? 😉

  5. I completely agree… Its sort of the same when tey keep re-making Jane Austen books or even Brontes. I will watch every one of them but its just the same story at the end of the day. Aren’t there other books out there they can remake… even if they want to go for the period drama

    And I think its stupid to remake The Girl with the Dragon tattoo… The Swedish movie was perfect and it had a better feel. I’m sure subtitles will do. English is ok but the feel of it will go.

  6. Crystal: THANK YOU! You’re not Swedish and you’re saying that! 🙂 Also, I agree about the classics. There are more to Brontë than just Jane Eyre or Wuthering Heights. I’d love to see Villette, Agnes Grey or Shirley adapted JUST FOR ONCE.

    Austen suffers from a similar thing, it’s always P&P, S&S or Emma that get noticed. The others tend to get ignored, which I think was why ITV specifically adapted the OTHER three novels in 2007, even if their version of Persuasion sucked.

  7. I feel your pain. My very favorite horror movie of all time — Fright Night — has been remade and is due to open in a matter of days. Chris Sarandon was perfect as the vampire and I’m not looking forward to Colin Farrel in that role. I’m reserving judgment about David Tennant because so many members of RAs fandom are fans of his, too, but he’s taking on Roddy freaking MacDowell. Like I said, reserving judgement.

  8. Chris Sarandon will always be Prince Humperdinck to me, haha. 🙂 Haven’t seen the original, so can’t say anything about it, but it doesn’t sound like a very old film either. I like David Tennant, and Colin Farrell was probably the only waxwork at Madame Tussaud’s that I looked at twice. Those eyes draw you in!

Leave a reply - comment is free (sort of)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: