How to Lose Fans and Alienate the Internet

ClickOnline had a snippet of an interview with Richard Armitage earlier this week, in which the Armitage answered the question we have asked ourselves many times before: is he a cat or a dog person? Indeed, Servetus pondered this subject back in 2011, and in a poll, 21 people thought he was a cat person, to ten people who thought he was a dog person. 20 people played it safe and said he loves both kinds.

Apparently, no, no he doesn’t. He’s very much a dog person. In fact, he phrased it thus:

I’m a dog person. I don’t have a dog but if I were to have an animal it certainly wouldn’t be a bloody cat! Theyre just temperamental and dogs are just cute and faithful.

Ouch, dude. Ouch.

Can you tell he doesn’t really “do” the Internet? If he had done, he would have known not to phrase the answer like … well, a dick. The Internet is for cats, which is well-established by now. Cats and bacon. Imagine the uproar if he, in the same breath, had also chosen to denounce bacon as pointless, greasy, and downright disgusting? There would be hell to pay!

RA holding a sign saying 'Bacon?'
GASP!

You can’t do that sort of thing on the Internet, my friend. Not if you want to get away with it!

My mum-in-law has a slightly better (?) way of expressing her preference:

I love all animals, and I would never harm a cat or nuffin’, but I prefer dogs. I love dogs.

Or something along those lines. She makes it perfectly clear dogs are for her and cats aren’t, but she loves animals in general. (It does seem a bit strange that she always mentions how she’d never harm a cat, as if that would somehow be implied in people who prefer dogs? What?!) My niggle with the way the Armitage said it is that it kind of poo-poos cats and everyone who loves them, and if he had said the same thing about dogs, he would have done the same thing to dogs and their devotees. Cats, however, are huge on the internet, so he might have shot himself in the foot here … but hey, at least he didn’t insult bacon. 😉

When I first got Daisy, ten years ago now, I didn’t live with my parents because I was away studying. Coming home for a summer break that year was interesting, because my dad didn’t like cats … and his youngest daughter had brought one home with her. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight. However, as the weeks went past, perhaps cats weren’t so bad after all. When I asked my parents if it would be okay for Daisy to stay with them between November (when I went home for a bit for work experience) and the Christmas holidays, and then until I moved back home at the end of January, they were happy to have her. (It would have been very stressful for her to move her back and forth every couple of weeks as it took about two to three hours by train one way.) Nowadays, my dad is more than happy to let their next door neighbour’s cat occupy his lap for hours on end, so Daisy taught him well. But then, it’s very hard to resist this:

Daisy the cat asleep
Daisy

That the Armitage feels cats are temperamental just goes to show that he either hasn’t had much experience with them, and/or that he knows squat about cat behavioiur. If all you know are dogs and you see a cat that wags it’s tail, you’re bound to think that’s one happy kitty, right? (Wrong!) No wonder you’re confused if you instantly get a scratch when trying to pet them. In my experience, you can tell when a cat has had enough of you. Spending the last ten years with Daisy has honed my flinch reflexes, shall we say? She’s a lovely cat, but she is also a very determined cat who knows what she wants and how much, and her threshold for cuddles goes from “I’ll allow this for a good half an hour, thank you” to “you have ten seconds to fuck off”. Knowing what signs to look for, I know when it’s time to stop stroking her and leave her alone. To call her “temperamental”, though? I’m not so sure. It’s more of a personality thing, and everyone’s different.

The other two, the young boys, wouldn’t harm a fly. Okay, bad choice of words, they would definitely hurt flies – especially Monkey, who loves to chase them, and eat them, if possible – but they have never scratched either of us, and we’ve had them for ten months now. They don’t seem that way inclined. They’re more likely to drool on us, as it happens, and they’re just the sweetest guys ever. Is this what you’d call temperamental? Doesn’t this warm the cockles of your heart just the tiniest amount, Richard?

Elbie the cat
Elbie

Cute hairstyle, though, and well done ClickOnline for enabling us to create a new meme. 😉

Speaking of which, the same website has also let us know which book he’s currently reading: Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers by Mary Roach:

It’s non-fiction and it’s about our modern perception of cadavers. How they’re used and abused compared to the Victorian use of cadavers. It’s a really interesting book actually – plastic surgeons practise on dead human heads!

So that’s interesting in itself, but then I guess he likes to learn new things. A fellow Ravenclaw, perhaps? I’m more surprised because I’ve seen that book mentioned before. Or perhaps not so much mentioned, as seeing it on TV, but I didn’t realise it was a real book. Sky Atlantic have been re-running Six Feet Under from the beginning for a few months now, and in series four, a girl gives her uncle Nate a book that she wants David (Nate’s brother) to have, and it’s this very same book! How about that! It’s perhaps not that strange, considering the show was about the Fisher family, who ran a funeral home. If you haven’t seen Six Feet Under, by the way, you’ve missed out. A peculiar but brilliantly dark drama that ran for five series in the early-to-mid Noughties, but despite being an HBO production, didn’t require people to take their clothes off and/or have sex every five mintues.

P.S. I still think Richard Armitage with Cats is genius. Maybe someone should start a Richard Armitage with Dogs Tumblr now? That would be adoRAble too. 😀

P.P.S. The title was picked purely for comic purposes, in case that wasn’t obvious. 😉

Leave a reply - comment is free (sort of)

%d bloggers like this: