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Richard Armitage – the perfect fantasy?

Here are a few remarks I made in response to a post on Me + Richard Armitage last December, when the topic was about his fame, his friendship with an actress and the fandom that goes with it. Saved them because I thought they could be used as basis for posts here, which hasn’t really happened. But anyway, here goes:

Picture from Me + Richard Armitage,
found through Google

I too have a sort of reluctant interest in Ms. Capper, which is really difficult to explain, because … well, would I be interested at all if she HADN’T been seen together with Richard Armitage? No. She sounds like a nice person, and we get the impression that Richard Armitage is a nice person too, so sounds like they’re well-matched as friends. If there’s more to it than friendship, who knows? Does it really matter to any of us either way?

I suppose that from a sense of being an ordinary woman, that he’s seen with a woman who looks REAL is the sort of self-satisfied “see? He’s a decent bloke, he wouldn’t be interested in one of those fake girls you see everywhere and especially in the glitzy world of showbiz, he wants a REAL woman! (… Like me!)” Because that’s just it, isn’t it? If he was seen with a supermodel, he would be Just Like Everyone Else – one who cares more about the appearance of someone rather than about the person they are inside, which I loathe anyway, and that would perhaps diminish a part of the attRAction [sic].

Good grief, fangirl psychological analysis is a slippery slope. You go into it with the best of intentions and come out sounding more insane than you did going in! *cowers*

It’s a double-edged sword. Like you say, we’re all real women, and just because someone has gone down the “surgically enhanced” route doesn’t make her into a machine or anything. There’s still a living, breathing human being inside.
I think feefa put it very well:

If RA is a fantasy object then she’s a potential rival (crudely put) – but it helps that she seems to be a good thing, by anyone’s criteria. What’s not to identify with?

Perhaps that’s the thing. Richard Armitage is our fantasy and Annabel Capper is our projected rival, of sorts. But if she’s genuinely a “decent person” and someone we can identify with, which most of us can’t when it comes to the “rich and beautiful” (even though we too may be both beautiful and rich, of course) … well then she’s not so much of a rival but more a substitute for ourselves? We can identify with her. Which then boils down to the whole issue of “if she’s a friend of his, and she’s a ‘normal person’ with half a brain, that means that by default, Richard Armitage would also get along famously with me, if we ever crossed paths” – which again, sounds if not creepy, at least it’s bordering on stalkerish. Which, in turn, worries me.

Now, how much I may gush about the guy online, I’m a (reasonably) sensible person offline, and wouldn’t dream of stalking a celebrity or get to the point of really believing that Richard Armitage and I would be BFFs if only we met. Likelihood of me ever meeting him – slim. Likelihood of me ever getting to a point where he’d consider me a friend – none.

Yet there’s still that nagging feeling of if we met and had a proper conversation, we’d have things to talk about and would most likely get along quite well because we seem to have a similar approach to life in general. But, and here’s the important part, I would never try to seek him out and force myself into his company and actually truly believe that all that stands between us and a happily ever after (as friends or otherwise) is an introduction. That’s the stuff of fantasy and romance novels, not real life, and I know that. So why can’t I just shake off the “we could be such good friends” feeling, when I know that sort of thought is uncomfortably close to erotomania?

And again, delving further into fan attitudes and behaviours does make you sound insane. Can I justify it by saying I’ve done some psychology studies at uni because I’ve always found psychology a most fascinating topic? 🙂

Traxy Thornfield

A Swedish introvert residing in Robin Hood Country (Nottingham, UK) with a husband and two cats. She's an eager participant in tabletop and play-by-post roleplaying, woodworking, photography and European travel. Will get a novel out one of these days, if she doesn't get too distracted along the way.

27 thoughts on “Richard Armitage – the perfect fantasy?

  1. Many things to think about in this post. Is RA our fantasy object? I agree he is. But from watching and reading his interviews I also feel that we would get along and that he would be a lovely person to know. But in the Real World that’s not likely to happen.

    I sometimes do wonder if Annabel Capper reads about our interest in her, because of RA of course, and what she thinks about it. But they seem to be great friends at the very least, and I’m happy for him to have someone he obviously trusts.

    My feeling has always been, as long as it remains a fantasy and I don’t move to the UK and start stalking the guy, then it’s OK to indulge in a bit of fantasy 🙂

    Great post.

  2. He is a fantasy for me, as it his roles that intrigue me. I do listen to his interviews and a bit of his personal life when my dear blogger buddies blog about him, but the actor is less appealing then say Guy or Lucas.

    As for Annabel, dont know anything about her or care to know.

  3. Richard is a fantasy.. and no matter how i “may” think that when i meet him, we’ll totally hit it off and be friends, its just not going to happen. I wouldnt even do that!!! He is an enigma to me in some ways and I would prefer just “knowing” about him through secondary sources…

    He sounds like an amazing guy, no doubts about that… and sounds just perfect at times, but i wonder how often that is just a projection of my mind and not the actual thing..

    Interesting post!!! love the psychoanalysis. Seems spot on…

  4. So, none of you ladies who live in London have ever met Richard Armitage in person?

    I confess I dream of the day when I’ll (hopefully) meet him 🙂

    But I live in Brazil and still can’t plan a trip to England 🙁

    But I would not stalk Richard Armitage at all… *laughs* I just think it would be so amazing and wonderful if I came across him… *daydreaming*

  5. Interesting analysis. Yes, he’s definitely a fantasy figure and in that fantasy, we would get along famously. However in a Perfect World, I suspect we might not make good BFFs. Not sure whether that is even true or whether that’s my way of keeping a crush nicely packaged in a box. As for Capper, don’t think I’ve given her much thought except when the nature of her relationship with RA is raised. She seems like a nice lady.

  6. I completely agree with your train of thought. The guy could be dating super models, but you don’t see any of that. You see him with a normal girl. There is nothing visually fake about her like you see in most women in the entertainment business. You could have pulled her off a farm in Iowa, she looks so normal. You would expect a man as famous in the UK as Richard, to be dating every hot chick available, like most of these guys do, but he doesn’t seem to go in that direction. In my eyes, I respect him so much more for choosing Anna C. And yes, she looks like most of us.

  7. Very interesting post.
    like many women, RA is also a fantasy for me. Easy for me to imagine that we could be friends. I’m a nice person too 😉
    However, the inability to realize this fantasy I’m a little frustrated (the probability that I would meet him in my life is close to zero). So for my sanity I prefer to think for example about JT and JP in the category of fanfic, which by their nature, unrealistic, but nice and wonderful detachment from reality

  8. That is the most hit post on my blog, by about 500 hits; it’s something like 20% ahead of the next biggest one. So obviously there’s a lot of thinking about her and fantasizing going on. As I said in that post, researching her made me like her a lot (in the sense that you can like anyone basically based on his/her CV), and so I wanted to write about what she was doing as an actress independently of him. So she did start out as a component of my fantasy about him, but she’s turned into her own self … Obviously I can’t know what she’s like personally but I do respect what she’s done.

  9. I don’t think it is possible to shake off the “we could be really good friends” feeling until there is a negative reason. If I heard that my fantasy man was divorcing his 4th wife b/c of physical abuse allegations, I’d feel differently. And RA has said himself “you’re not going to see the real me on television.”

    I really appreciate your insights into fangirl analysis. I have struggled with this most of my adult life. Lately I have been trying not to take as many mental vacations away from my real life. I have been doing a lot of armchair traveling and fantasizing about going on vacation with my family. Part of me misses meeting some hypothetical newly-drafted-to-the-NHL hockey player on the ferry from Helsinki to Stockholm, but it has also been a refreshing and revealing experience for me. I’ve been much less depressed lately.

  10. I always thought that I’m shy and romantic girl.
    Thanks to you Traxy and Richard I learn that I’m erotoman and Vouyer:D:D.
    Annabel is not my rival:)
    She’s talented and beautifull:)
    Just so you know…:(

  11. Ahh, I’m the opposite. I think the actor is more appealing. Lucas turned out to be a bit of a swine and Guy … okay, he has a heart in there somewhere!! 🙂

  12. Thanks! I agree with you. Although I did move to the UK, but that was before I was conscious of him, and for entirely different reasons altogether – namely, the man who would become my husband! 😀

    It would be really interesting to interview Ms Capper about the RA fans’ fascination with her. But I don’t think that’s going to happen, and she might even get insulted by the mere idea.

  13. Same here … What if he’s really as dull as he says he is? Although I’m sure that’s not true. He’s too interesting for that. Or maybe he isn’t? Maybe it’s all just an illusion …

  14. Brazil is a long way away. 🙁 I live in Nottingham, which is only a couple of hours on a train away from London, but train tickets can be quite expensive, and you generally don’t spend hours on a train just to haunt South London (forget if it’s SE or SW he lives in) in case you happen to bump into him. Granted, if I’m somewhere in London, I do indulge in a bit of daydreaming – “what if I suddenly bumped into [insert name of a liked celebrity]?” Although … I don’t think I’ve even glimpsed anyone vaguely familiar in London. Or even Nottingham, for that matter.

  15. Maybe it was too long – sometimes it didn’t like that and showed an error message … and sometimes it showed an error and still posted it. *scratches head* Not sure how Disqus handles long comments. Better, one hopes!

  16. One of the problems with being his BFF would be that he’s so darn attractive. How distracting would THAT be? But maybe, if you’re BFFs, that attraction kind of wears off after a while?

  17. Haha, well, you’re technically only an erotomaniac if you believe RA is in love with you and sends you secret signals that only you can see and interpret in anything he does or say. And I’m sure (or at least really hope o.O) that’s not the case. 🙂 *hugs*

  18. Oh wow. For me, it’s The Gay Post. Wonder why. 😉 Seems like the world is terribly preoccupied with whom he is romantically or sexually involved …

    I think your posts on her were really interesting, as it brought her to our awareness as her own person, not just “that woman RA might or might not be involved with somehow”. You did her a service there, getting her name out, and her credentials. 🙂

  19. You’re right, if it turned out he liked torturing cats and documenting it on the internet, like some people do (yes, really – they should get a dose of their own medicine if you ask me!!), then damn straight I’d feel differently about him!

    Do you think your lessened depression is because you’ve tried to stay focused on real life, as opposed to escaping into escapism recently? Now, that’s an interesting concept. Unfortunately, I suspect mine’s rather brought on by a hormone deficiency …

  20. such a sweet reply…and so true. good looks is just packaging, it’s whats inside that keeps you wanting more.

  21. regardless of his true personality; it’s our imagination/fantasy (triggered by the perfect role/movie) that places him on such a high pedestal.
    ps finding this very therapeutic

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