The Bad Guys List

This is a general hommage to my favourite baddies from films and TV! 😀 The deliciously malicious people who you might love to hate, or hate to love… or just outright fancy. Whatever floats your boat. Most, if not all, of my favourite baddies are either Magnificent Bastards or Smug Snakes according to the TV Tropes Wiki. The two personality types being quite similar. What would Freud say?

If I could make out in which order I prefer them, I would list them like that, but since I can’t, I’ll just go with an A-Z. So to speak. The links are to YouTube clips for the most part.

Last revised: 3 June 2011.

CC Babcock from The Nanny
(For the clip, see 03:25 onwards) As I saw a clip from The Nanny on YouTube the other day (while looking for clips of a person further down this list, actually), I thought hey, I like her. While I was probably more rooting for Nanny Fine when I was following the show on Swedish TV, I probably would more delight in the sarcasms of CC Babcock now, and the sexual tension between her and butler Niles. Haww.

Cutler Beckett from Pirates of the Caribbean
Yes, the bloke from the East India Company. Apparently, more people like Davy Jones, but how on earth can Fishface compare with an aristocratic bastard? People are too busy fancying the pants off Jack Sparrow or Will Turner, for some reason (although in the case of Johnny Depp, I can sympathise). If you haven’t seen the final installment in the PotC trilogy, i.e. “At World’s End”, here’s your spoiler warning. He dies. He dies! No, not Jack Sparrow, Lord Beckett! But it’s such a wrong ending! Instead of doing something which would seem in character, he just stands there, not even giving an order to fire. And that doesn’t seem in character at all, and that bugs me. AWE as such does not. As soon as we got aquainted with Beckett in PotC2, I was hoping for him to return in the third film, and he did. Even more than in the previous film! As a result, PotC3 should make any Beckett fan smile. Until the end bit. Because that sucks. And it’s not just good business!

Darken Rahl from Legend of the Seeker
It weirded me out totally when I realised the actor playing him was the guy who played Haldir (the so-called “fat elf”) in on of the Lord of the Rings movies. Craig Parker in dark hair and being manipulative to the point where Salazar Slytherin would’ve proposed marriage to him, you can’t help but squee a little. Or a lot.

Guy of Gisborne from Robin Hood
Never got into BBC’s Robin Hood, but if I had done, this would be a good reason to! Maybe it’s just me liking people who reminds me of my roleplaying characters, because Gisborne has a very Fishy-like quality to him in this version, and that’s always a plus. Season three with the longer hair, he looks incredibly Snape-like and thus his Fishy-factor has also increased a lot. Especially with all the angst he seems to be up to nowadays as well… Love it! I started watching season 3 because of Prince John, but while waiting for him, decided Richard Armitage is awesome, and now have to continue watching. Squee!

Holly Harper from Brothers & Sisters
So Holly’s not the nicest gal, but she’s a hoot none the less! She’s a right scheming, manipulative bitch! And she’s freakin’ awesome at it too! 😀 (Also, she happens to be played by Patricia Wettig, a.k.a. Mrs. Ken Olin! 🙂 And she’s really not the same person IRL as she is on screen – luckily!) I do enjoy the Holly/David (David is played by her IRL hubby) dynamic. David seems to bring out the human side in her, and in Holly’s case, that’s quite a good thing. Still, quite enjoying her sneaky bitch routine as well. Just don’t let it get in the way of the relationship with David, because they’re super-cute on screen together! (Note to self: Don’t update this page while tipsy.)

Karen Walker from Will & Grace
When she’s not rubbing tummies with Jack or commenting on Grace’s boob size (or lack thereof), she’s most likely found with a glass of alcohol in her hand and being a bit of a tyrant toward her maid Rosario. Or saying things that are quite hilariously bitchy. You have to love her, or at least love to hate her.

Lex Luthor from Lois & Clark
Let me be very, very specific here. The only Lex Luthor I approve of is the hairy one played by John Shea in Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman. I don’t care much for the guy in Smallville, nor Kevin Spacey in Superman Returns. Same goes for any other version of the Superman story. It’s this Luthor or no Luthor. Why? Hmm… well, I’m not quite sure, but I’m still not convinced Lois should’ve married Clark…

Lucius Malfoy from the Harry Potter films
Nah, not so much in the books, I’m afraid. But the films – brilliant, absolutely wonderfully magnificently evil. Draco? Pah, amateur, I say! Maybe if he takes after his father a bit. And, err, becomes at least 15 years older. That might help. Looking forward to the remaining HP films. Yay for Lucius! Draco’s a pansy.

Prince Nuada from Hellboy II
Mainly because my head went “Squee! Remove the strange facial makeup and that’s my favourite RPG pervert Alfonso!” seeing that film. :look Looking at various videos on YouTube, however, I’ve also come to the conclusion that OMG how awesomely choreographed were those fights?! They’re a joy to watch! Nuada’s issue with humans messing things up, I can sympathise with as well, not to mention Luke Goss without a shirt. 😉

Sam Neill in various guises
As he’s responsible for a few, I thought I’d bunch ’em together. For instance, there’s Damien Thorn (The Omen III), Dr. Weir (Event Horizon), Cardinal Wolsey (The Tudors), Brian de Bois-Guilbert (Ivanhoe), superbly awesome David Jenkins (Memoirs of an Invisible Man – just fast forward past the other bits – they’re not half as interesting), Alastair Stewart (The Piano), professor Mortlock (My Mother Frank), Victor Komarovsky (Doctor Zhivago). And of course, The Man (Perfect Strangers). Then again, is The Man really all that bad? If you’re a female Sam Neill fan, the answer is a solid NO, because after all, it’s Sam Neill… taking you to a deserted island, cooking for you, running you a hot bath, wanting you to marry him and stay there forever… Doesn’t sound all that bad, to be honest. You’d be a fool to refuse. Which is why it’s a rather strange movie to watch for Sam Neill fans, as we really can’t sympathise with Melanie (female main character), who calls it kidnapping. Oh well. He does baddies – and goodies – very well. Yay for Sam! 😀

Severus Snape from the Harry Potter films
Definitely not the Snape from the books. Canon Snape is pretty horrid, but in Alan Rickman form – not so. Looking great on HP6 pictures so far, and re-reading HP6 I do enjoy his character more and more. Fishy isn’t all that far from Snape after all …

Tempus from Lois & Clark

“Hello! Duh!Clark Kent is Superman. Ha, ha, ha. Well, that was worth the whole trip. To actually meet the most galactically stupid woman who ever lived.”

Point made. This guys is freakin’ AWESOME! He’s incredibly sarcastic in very funny ways. The futuristic jumpsuit I’m not so keen on, but hey.

The Brain from Animaniacs and Pinky & The Brain

“Come! We must prepare for tomorrow tonight!”
“Why, what are we going to do tomorrow tonight?”
“We must try and take over the world!”

I’m thinking the way they came up with the idea of two lab rats – one with a huge intellect and one with… a fondness of cheese and weird words like “zort” and “poit” and “narf” is the phrase “The best laid plans of mice and men often go wrong”. I’m sure they thought “We can do something with that, ‘the best laid plans of mice often go wrong’, you know…” What we do know is that the Brain’s best laid plans for world domination are great, but don’t really work out in the end, but at least we have a pretty hilarious time getting there!

The Sheriff of Nottingham
No particular form, because I enjoy both Alan Rickman in Prince of Thieves as well as Keith Allen in BBCs Robin Hood. He was quite cool in Men in Tights too, as well as in the Legends Medieval Stunt Team. Just a shame the guy currently holding the ceremonial title Sheriff of Nottingham IRL isn’t as interesting. 😉

Toby Stephens in various guises
Yes, if there’s an actor who can do a villain that makes you squeeee with delight, it’s Toby Stephens. We have the suave Gustav Graves (Die Another Day, a ridiculously silly Bond movie), the slightly jealous Fergus Wolfe (Possession) who isn’t much of a villain admittedly, but is still an antagonist, he’ll soon be Prince John (Robin Hood, the BBC series)… and although Mr. Rochester (Jane Eyre) isn’t the villain of the piece, he’s still not 100% a goodie either really, is he? Sure, okay, any chance I get to mention my favourite 19th century romantic hero … *cough* For that matter alone – being Mr. Rochester (not just playing, being) – is enough to get him on any of my lists. Best Rochester ever! But alas, this isn’t supposed to be about brooding, lovesick puppies with mad wives locked up in towers, but about villains. And the award goes to William Dodd (Sharpe’s Challenge). HOLY MOTHER OF GODS! *THUD!* He starts off by riding into a soldier’s camp and coldly ordering them all to be slaughtered, and that’s just for starters! Every scene (too few, I might add) he’s in is a treat. Who else can say “English bastards” in an English accent with such conviction? Squeee! If you’ve ever wondered if evil is sexy, look no further! In fact, let’s see the beginning of Sharpe’s Challenge, shall we? It also features Sean Bean who is also in period costume, after all. 😉 Dodd’s in about 4:15 – 8:29.

People who might make it if I revisit their characters and then edit the list:

  • Pusher from The X-Files. Now I have seen “Pusher” and “Kitsunegari” again, but I’m a bit undecided. There could be some erotic fanfiction that would work very well with the character, however. I might reconsider if I come across any. 😉

People who didn’t make the list, and who would only make it if hell freezes over:

  • Alex Krycek from The X-Files. I’m sorry, SPAK, but no. Tretcherous and murderous bastard is what he is, and he got what was coming to him!
  • Cancer Man from The X-Files. Again, my old X-Philey colours show and any person who is a big enemy to Mulder & Scully automatically are off the list.
  • Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter films. Just not good enough. And probably too young as well. 😛
  • George Baxter from The Flying Doctors. No way, José.
  • Mordechai Sahmbi from Time Trax. Bleh. Plus the distraction of knowing Peter Donat played Mulder’s dad.
  • The Joker from The Dark Knight. Not sexy evil. Scary, psychopathic evil! o.O
  • Voldemort from the Harry Potter films. No, that’s sick … and kind of borders on beastiality. Eww?

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