Some films are excellent, others … well, they lose our attention so bad we can’t help but to fall asleep. Here is my top list of films that have made Mr. Sandman pop round for an extra trip simply because I’ve struggled to stay awake while watching them and simply haven’t been able to.
The seven films are sorted according to the length of snoozing and the supposed “worthiness” of the film in question. And yes, there are a few on there that are so critically acclaimed they’ve made the IMDb Top 250 list. Two are in the top 60, one clocks in at 110 … So, ranging from a score of 3.2/10 to 8.6/10, here goes:
Directed by James Wong
|“You know, I just can’t remember why this film was made.”|
Well, can anyone blame me? It’s not a good film, even if it does have Spike from Buffy in it. Of the films on this list, this is the only one I’ve actually reviewed. To date, anyway. As you’ll see, I’m willing to give several of them another chance. Not this one, though.
Directed by Ridley Scott
|“Do I make you horny?”|
A young Tom Cruise and a young Mia Sara in a faerie type world where Tim Curry is the devil who tries to seduce aforementioned young woman. Like a lot (I’m generalising here) cult fantasy films from the 1980s, it’s rather weird and I couldn’t help but to doze off here and there. At least I’m pretty sure I dozed off. It wasn’t just because it was a bit too weird and confusing that I had to look up the plot summary on Wikipedia afterwards to connect the dots, was it? Also, the thought of the Devil being hot in more ways than one is disturbing. Maybe I was better off asleep. Damn you, Tim Curry!
Directed by Robert Young
|Obviously the only reason I would watch this.|
Take a British spy from MI-6 and plonk him down in Argentina and pretend he’s James Bond. Except even the worst of the James Bond films are better scripted, even if they do both contain the beautiful Talisa Soto. I saw this film once upon a time when I had a Sam Neill marathon, and I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. Luckily, I woke up just in time for the only memorable scene in the entire film. Haven’t attempted it since, but I might give it another go, because I do want to re-watch my whole Sam Neill collection.
Directed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz
|Puppets and … is that a baby Wookie?!|
This is a film many of those growing up in the ’80s swear by, especially if they like their fantasy films and Jim Henson puppets. I know the Squeeze does, which is why he bought it for me, as a Christmas present, I believe. Sadly, I found it confusing and dull, and drifted off because my head movies are more entertaining. There was something about a dark crystal? That furry creature on the picture is adorable, maybe I should try it again.
Directed by Kazuaki Kiriya
|Visually stunning, but …|
Don’t get me wrong, this film is absolutely astounding to behold. If I remember anything about it, it’s that it was beautiful, like a work of art. Don’t ask me what it’s about, though, because I slept through half of it. But then again, it was a rather long film, if memory serves me well … then again, that is also the only thing I remember. Plot? Yeah, I’m sure it had one of those. But to be fair, it’s not a bad film, actually. It’s just that I couldn’t stay awake while watching it. I should probably give it another go at some point.
Directed by Ingmar Bergman
|“Please Lord, make it end!”|
There’s a man playing chess with Death. Iconic. It’s set during the Black Death times and everything. Sweden. Classic. What’s not to love? Famous scene filmed virtually next door from where I lived at the time, and I was determined to watch it when it was on TV. As it happened, it was rather bleak and dreary and … didn’t catch my interest in the way I imagined it would. Curled up on the sofa, I fell asleep. This is the only film on the list that I already have given a second chance, and I didn’t fall asleep the second time. It’s #110 on IMDb Top 250 and I gave it 2 out of 5 in August 2011. “Critically acclaimed” indeed.
Directed by Stanley Kubrick
|They never mentioned this as a prerequisite to watch the film!|
Generally hailed as a masterpiece, Kubrick does seem to have had a knack for making tremendously dull and artsy films. This one was terribly violent and incredibly bizarre at the same time, and in the end, I felt a nap was time better spent than watching this. Maybe I’ll give it another try some time. After all, it is meant to be a masterpiece, and comes in at #57 on IMDb’s Top 250 list.
Directed by Francis Ford Coppola
|My feelings exactly.|
Hailed as #35 on the IMDb Top 250 list, this is a very long film about the Vietnam War. It’s highly acclaimed, as I just said, and they go on a boat into the jungle and find some camp to find some bloke who doesn’t want to play ball or something like that. To be honest, it was way too long, perhaps because we saw the Redux version. This gets the #1 spot because it actually managed to send both me and the Squeeze off to sleep, and we slept quite soundly for some time. In fact, I think we didn’t wake up until the end credits, but we didn’t feel as if we had missed anything at that point.
Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001)
Directed by Chris Columbus
|“Ich bin ein Zauberer? Wirklich?”|
Bet you never expected that one! Well, to be fair, I have an excuse. It was 2pm in the afternoon and I had been travelling since about 4:30pm the previous day and sleeping on buses just doesn’t work very well. As there was nothing to do once I had checked into the hotel in Koblenz, there were no shops open (it was Boxing Day), but the local cinema had only just started showing Harry Potter und der Stein der Weisen, so I figured hey why not, I love Harry Potter and it gives me something to do. Didn’t understand much of what was being said due to the film being dubbed into German (but I had seen it before, in its original language with Swedish subtitles – and of course read the book!), I was exhaused from the journey, the seats were comfy and it was dark. Woke up in time for Christmas at Hogwarts, so I wasn’t out for more than maybe ten minutes or so. See? Told you I had an excuse!