Vogon Poetry Corner #5

“Ode to Planetary Demolitions”

Brilliant sunlight dancing over a silver lake
How I’d love to blow it up before breakfast
Whispering winds over desert plains
Can’t wait to see it evaporate

I love to blow up planets
It’s what we do best
You may hate me and my kind
But try and sue us and we’ll feed you to the ravenous bugblatter beast of Traal

Full of beautiful creatures great and small
To see them blown to bits is great
Wonderful blossoms with balmy fragrances
Can’t stand them, they stink

I love to blow up planets
It’s what we do best
Resistance is useless
We’ll get you in the end or we’ll chase you to the end of the Universe just to get you to sign that consent form

Oh the many moons floating around in the sky
Such a disorganised mess, if you ask me
Booming spaceports with great cultural diversity
Well, they can all just zark off

I love to blow up planets
It’s what we do best
Because we are Vogons
And you’re clearly not, therefore you should seriously consider sticking your head in a pig

Resistance is useless!

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