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How Hollywood will destroy childhood memories

I saw this trailer and couldn’t help saying: “What. The. F**k?” at the screen. I then showed it to the Squeeze, whose reaction was eerily similar. Behold:

Oy vey!

“What’s wrong with it?” you may ask. “It has Neil Patrick Harris in it! And that girl from Heroes and Glee! And Hank Azaria as Gargamel! And it’s in 3D!”

Okay, first of all: I don’t care if it’s in 3D, because I don’t froth at the mouth at the prospect of having to wear special glasses when I go to the cinema. Two dimensions are good enough for me, and for a lot of other people.

I don’t watch Glee (and yes, I have heard it’s brilliant and awesome and everything – I just haven’t watched much of it) and apparently, they cancelled Heroes. Neil Patrick Harris and Hank Azaria, okay yeah, but I didn’t even recognise Gargamel and was surprised to see who plays him in the IMDb info.

No. It’s the whole “they came from outer space!!” feel. It’s smurfs in the real world as opposed to in their Forgotten Land (don’t know what it’s called in English, but it’s “det glömda landet” in Swedish, so I just translated it). They’re not even three apples tall! They’re two, tops. If they aren’t very big apples.

The Smurfs make their first 3D trip to the big screen in Columbia Pictures’/Sony Pictures Animation’s hybrid live-action and animated family comedy, The Smurfs. When the evil wizard Gargamel chases the Smurfs out of their village, they’re forced through a portal, out of their world and into ours, landing in the middle of New York’s Central Park. Just three apples high and stuck in the Big Apple, the Smurfs must find a way to get back to their village before Gargamel tracks them down.

It might be funny, but it’s just WRONG!

Good thing dad transferred our Smurf LPs from 1979 onto CDs last year (or so). My childhood – and that of my sisters – is thereby preserved. *phew!*

Traxy Thornfield

A Swedish introvert residing in Robin Hood Country (Nottingham, UK) with a husband and two cats. She's an eager participant in tabletop and play-by-post roleplaying, woodworking, photography and European travel, when there's not a plague on. Might get a novel out one of these days, if she doesn't get too distracted along the way.

7 thoughts on “How Hollywood will destroy childhood memories

  1. I just can’t deal with this movie. I want my memories of the Smurfs to stay happy and safe in the ol’ childhood memory bank. Stupid Hollywood! 😛

  2. It’s just too weird! Ah well, not like we’re forced to see it or anything. I’ll be quite happy to sit this one out. 😉

  3. I hear you about taking childhood favourites and messing them up! My biggest upset was with the Jim Carey & the disgrace of a movie “How The Grinch Stole Christmas” – horrible! Since when where Whos mean! NEVER! The only Grinch for me (other than the book) will always be the animated classic with Boris Karloff.

    I’ll be skipping The Smurfs at the theatre…and spending that money on Captain America! 😉

  4. Poor Traxy. Happily I didn’t know of the Smurfs until I was an adult and hated them then too.

    OTOH, I agree with @Tyme, Jim Carey ruined my childhood.

  5. Dr. Seuss is not someone I’ve grown up with, so I suppose luckily, Jim Carrey couldn’t spoil my childhood. Haven’t seen the offending movie in question either, but from the sounds of it, it’s just as well!

    I wholeheartedly agree, though. Would much rather spend that cinema cash on going to see Captain America! 😀

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