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Top 10 Weirdest Crushes of 2013

It’s a bit early in the year to decide on the weirdest celebrity crushes of 2013, isn’t it? Every year, Heat magazine makes a list of unconventional-looking men and ask women to vote for who they think is the “weirdest crush”.

I came across the longlist earlier this year, and was absolutely puzzled as to why many of those men were on the list. I mean, Hugh Bonneville?! Lord Grantham is a dish! What’s weird about him?! Anyway. I voted for a few, although I don’t remember exactly who they were, but now, the top ten have been revealed. I snaffled the list from Virgin Media.

10: Ed Sheeran
The red-haired singer. Aww, but he’s so CUTE! AND he can sing! Adorables, end of.

9: Alan Rickman
The one, the only. Snape. Sheriff of Nottingham. Just generally awesome. Also not weird. He’s getting on a bit now, sure, but he’s still got it goin’ on.

8: Alexander Armstrong
Comedian (one half of Armstrong & Miller), and the presenter of Pointless, a quiz show that certainly makes up for its name … Not weird. He’s a good-looking bloke!

7: Adam Richman
Not to be confused with Alan Rickman. 😉 Richman is the host of Men vs Food, and I think he’s well handsome, actually. I’d love to meet him and talk about food. Over a plate of food. I’ll bring the brownies?

6: Francis Boulle
Some bloke off of Made in Chelsea, apparently. Isn’t the only weird thing here the fact that people actually WATCH that show?

5: Matt Smith
The 11th Doctor Who! He does have an unusual face, but certainly not an unpleasant one. It’s rather intriguing, actually, because it’s unusual. So yeah, I’ll give you the unconventionally handsome. But still, surely nothing weird about it!

4: Benedict Cumberbatch
The modern Sherlock Holmes is also a popular guy, and yeah, Cumberbatch is handsome in his own peculiar way, but I don’t know if I would class him as particularly unconventional, as such. Also: he was in To the Ends of the Earth with Sam Neill … as an uptight, annoying git, granted, but still. Enjoy him as the voice of Smaug in the second Hobbit instalment!

3: Richard Osman
Alexander Armstrong’s sidekick on Pointless, who apparently won the “accolade” of #1 Weird Crush of 2012. I saw him on Have I Got News For You and found him positively charming and very, very funny. Two metres of brainy bloke topped with a pair of glasses and a sense of humour? Don’t mind if I do!

2: Jon Richardson
Another comic, this one with a rather bitter outlook on life in general. How much of it is a persona? Hopefully most of it. Not a bad-looking bloke either.

1: Russell Howard
“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride”, you could say, considering he’s been on the list for years without actually winning. Except for this year. And his response to this? Apparently, “Finally, I am king of the mingers! It’s nice to know I’d be many people’s sympathy shag.” Aww, Russell. Sympathy shag? Really? When you’re a blue-eyed, good-looking, charming, hilarious, Harry Potter fan, and you refer to the stationary section of supermarkets as “notepad Narnia” because stationary is sort of magical? The only weird thing is why people WOULDN’T fancy the pants off this guy. I love Russell Howard, he’s absolutely brilliant.

You had me at dimples, mate.

Here are weird crushes numer 11 through 30, from Heat itself:

11. Derren Brown, mindbender. I’d be too worried he’d try to manipulate me all the time. Ohh no.
12. Paul Hollywood, master baker. The silver fox of the Great British Bake-off. So picturing him smothered in cake batter and icing is weird now, is it? … Good to know …
13. Gareth Malone, choirmaster. Cute, adorable and apparently not gay at all.
14. John Bishop, comedian. Too smiley. Too Liverpudlian. Surely he’s like the epitome of traditionally handsome?
15. James Martin, chef. He’s got that nice, Northern thing about him. Promises of cuddles in front of open fires in cottages on the Yorkshire moors, AND he cooks. Definitely not weird.
16. David Mitchell, comedian. SUCH BROWN EYES. Rockin’ the beard too!
17. Michael McIntyre, comedian. Can’t keep still on stage, but I’m not sure he deserves to be branded “weird”.
18. Jake Wood, actor on Eastenders or something? Behold my blank expression.
19. Karl Pilkington, phenomenon. Also quite weird, especially as people say that no, that isn’t a persona, he really IS like that for real. And someone married him.
20. Michel Roux Jr, master chef. Food is good with me, definitely.
21. Simon Cowell, music mogul. Well, he’s got that supreme alpha thing going on, doesn’t he?
22. Rufus Hound, comedian or something? Meh.
23. Hugh Bonneville, actor. Wait, what?! 23rd place?! But but but …
24. Dara Ó Briain, comedian. Brainy Irish fella. I’d love a hug.
25. Nick Knowles, TV presenter. RUGGEDLY HANDSOME.
26. Tony Gardner, actor. No idea. Not bad-looking, though.
27. Boris Johnson, Mayor of London. Yeah, that IS weird.
28. Jonathan Ross, TV presenter. Aww, Wossy.
29. Lord Coe … politician? Fair enough.
30. Aled Jones, singer who once walked in the air? Well, he still sings.

I’d post more pictures, but Google have stopped providing links to their image cache, which makes things awkward. >_< But if you click the link to the list on Virgin Media, you get the top 10, or if you click the Heat link, pictures of the full top 30.

Who would be your top “weird”, or at least unconventionally handsome, valentine?

Traxy Thornfield

A Swedish introvert residing in Robin Hood Country (Nottingham, UK) with a husband and two cats. She's an eager participant in tabletop and play-by-post roleplaying, woodworking, photography and European travel, when there's not a plague on. Might get a novel out one of these days, if she doesn't get too distracted along the way.

6 thoughts on “Top 10 Weirdest Crushes of 2013

    1. Aww, I wrote a response, pressed “Preview” and there was a fault somewhere and BAM, comment gone. Gah!!

      It was along the lines of hearing him say that when we went to see him live. I immediately thought wow, him too!!! (Me in a stationary section is like a kid in a candystore.) Decided to remember the phrase, and it later ended up being the new title of my personal blog. 🙂

  1. For those who don’t know Jon Richardson is the weird comedian who’s one of the 8 out of 10 cats captains.

  2. hi Traxy, i guess this is a result of not aspiring to the stereotyped description (whatever that is) of how attractive people are supppose to look or behave? well, yay! for different – it adds color to the world.

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