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When Hollywood get their mitts on a classic boardgame

This really has to be seen to be believed. Battleship the bloody movie. I kid you not. That’s right, they’ve turned THIS:

into a film. And not just ANY film! No, it has a plot and everything (kind of). Thus spake Yahoo! Movies:

Taylor Kitsch and Alexander Skarsgard play brothers and naval officers facing off against an alien invasion.

I really don’t remember there being any aliens whenever I played Battleship. Do you? Anyway, here it is, in all it’s … err … traileryness. (Yes, I really can’t think of a more descriptive word.)

The correct response to the above should be somewhere along the lines of “what the fuuuuuuuuck?!?!” It looks … well like they’ve got high and played with Transformers figures and thought it would be a brilliant idea to make a movie out of a classic boardgame. If only they could think of a plot. And that’s when it hit them – to combine the two! Aahh-SUM, dude! And let’s get Liam Neeson and Rihanna in it, that’ll like totally ROCK!

A clue: no.

I think it looks like a film I’d be happy to ignore even when it eventually is shown on TV. What do you reckon – Battleship (2012) – does it float your boat?

Traxy Thornfield

A Swedish introvert in Robin Hood Country (Nottingham, UK) where she lives with a husband and two cats. She's an eager participant in tabletop and play-by-post roleplaying, woodworking, photography and European travel. Will get a novel out one of these days, if she doesn't get too distracted on the way.

9 thoughts on “When Hollywood get their mitts on a classic boardgame

  1. Good freaking grief. Just when I think we’ve already scraped the bottom of the barrel I realize we can go lower… 😛

  2. All I can say is, I hope they paid Liam Neeson well and that he’s doing something worthwhile with the money, like donating it to a charity.

  3. With Liam Neeson, I couldn’t help but wonder how on earth an actor of his caliber was drawn into this. I hope it’s not just to have thing to do to not think about his poor wife too much. :/ Felt so sorry for him when the news of her death broke. 🙁

    What game-to-movie will they think of next? Monopoly? (Isn’t that already in the works?) Minesweeper? Hey, I know, SOLITAIRE! Or Hearts. Not sure “scraping the barrel” is a strong enough phrase!

  4. The only thing that had me squeeing at the preview (well, actually had my friend really squeeing at the preview – mine was a more a cry of disbelief) was seeing Alexander Skarsgard will be in it. What is it with good actors picking really bad films? I went to Cowboy and Aliens yesterday because my friend is a fangurl of Daniel Craig. The movie was sooooo awful we ended up laughing hysterically at how bad it was. Full of clichés… Argh! I can’t believe a film critic I usually respect gave it 4 out of 5 stars! It couldn’t have been worse if it tried!!

  5. The only reason I would even consider seeing it is to ogle Alexander Skarsgard. And even then I’d wait until it was on TV. And even Alexander Skarsgard is no guarantee I’ll last longer than five minutes.

  6. Aww I fancy seeing Cowboys & Aliens. :/ Mind you, not for its cinematic value (if any), just because it sounds vaguely like Deadlands, and that sounds like fun, even if it is cheesetastic. 😀

    So there is plenty of love for Alexander Skarsgård in the room. Personally, I’d see it for Liam Neeson, but like Stephanie, I might not last more than 5 mins either!

  7. Joe saw Cowboys & Aliens and really liked it. He described a number of scenes that were “tributes” to cowboy movies of the past, and wondered why nobody had ever put cowboys and aliens together before now.

    When I quizzed him about the previews, he told me about Battleship and said that the audience laughed at the end in the tone of “ain’t nobody gonna see that!” He was very puzzled by Liam Neeson’s presence, especially since he had recently seen LN in another movie he really liked, Unknown.

  8. Have heard mixed views of Cowboys & Aliens and TWICE now we’ve wanted to go see it. First, it wasn’t out, and we thought “okay maybe it opens next Friday” … and then we were wanting to go see it on Sunday … and it doesn’t bloody open until next Wednesday! >:( Okay, it’s not six months, like Jane Eyre (a month minus 2 days now!) but still annoying.

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